Being in Facebook groups that are centred around weight loss and 12wbt does have benefits but it can also have a negative impact as well.
I think being able to recognise and leave when some things don't sit right is a good thing, but can it also be bad?
I had to leave a group. There were too many things that made me uncomfortable and I'm wondering if it is something I need to work on ignoring or was it a good thing to have left all together.. am I just avoiding it?
So turn back time to years ago when I had an eating disorder. The only thing in my life I could control was "being empty" as I called it. My life was an absolute mess, my first marriage was failing, I wasn't doing as well on exams at tafe as I would have liked (I got a 95%), I was overweight and hated myself, so I would take sheets of laxatives every night, those excruciating stomach cramps were a comfort, I was purging my body of the only thing I was capable of controlling. I did eventually stop.
Quite a few years later I was in a destructive relationship, I was constantly told how horrid I was, if I lost weight I was told I was disgusting and my curves were disappearing and I was ugly. I had a health scare, a cyst was removed that was going to turn into cancer. That scared me so much, I got out of the relationship and I started taking xenical, and using diet drinks and eating healthy dinners and I exercised, a lot. At least 4 times a day, twice in the morning, once in the afternoon and then again after dinner. I was happy, my resting heart rate was 48 when I was at least 17kgs overweight (according to the 'experts') I was on a mission to lose weight and look good.
Must have worked because I got engaged and pregnant.
There have been times in the last few years where I have felt myself spiraling again, I had gone back to some old habits and stopped them but I am definitely not heeled from ever going back there again. So being in a group where there seems to be a few that are obsessed with exercise and calories and talking about it a lot, being disappointed that scales show a tiny gain after a nice dinner.. it was bringing back things that make me uncomfortable and I removed myself from the group. Good on them for wanting to get to their goal, and working very hard to do it, but I could see in them how I was a few years ago and I don't want to be reminded of it.
I suppose it means I still have some demons to deal with.
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